Monday, January 11, 2016

Written on a down day.

Today, I'm reminded of just how human I am. That may seem like a pretty obvious statement which I should be fully aware of, but in my case I don't mean it as a realisation that I am not an extraterrestrial being. What I mean by that sentence is that today I'm reminded how fragile I am, how easy it is for me to doubt myself, and how I (like everyone else) have issues which I cannot push under the rug and pretend that they don't exist.

It's easy to fall back into the crazy downward spiral that is depression once you've fought it once. And to be honest, there are certain days where nothing helps. All of those sentences which you repeat to yourself on normal days to build up your self-esteem and confidence no longer help. You feel alone. You feel heavy, like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. You just want to curl up into a ball and sleep through the next few days instead of continuing the fight.

So here's the point in the day where I pick up a book, usually a Neil Gaiman book, because it helps me to escape into a world beyond myself. A world which I can relate to. Something I don't need to think about much - it all just makes sense when this world doesn't. Allowing someone else to take you on a journey is an extremely calming experience. Trusting an author enough to build a world where you can escape to, characters whom you build attachments to, and to tell you a story about love, heartbreak, adventure. It makes you feel less alone in this world.

I suppose it's the same with anything really... Music, art, literature, photography. We all tell stories for a reason. To cause people to feel something. Any sort of emotion to make us all feel alive. Human, if you will. Suppose it's the same with love. It makes us feel that much more real. That we are not just shadow puppets walking the earth. We become real when we feel. Whatever that feeling is is irrelevant. Pain, joy, sadness, depression, fear, hope, awe or even love which is a little bit of all of those.

So... I guess this is becoming a bit of a rant. But what I'm trying to get at is... Well... It's okay. It's okay to have down days. It's okay to question existence. It's alright to just want to feel something for a change... But when that does happen, let someone or something else try and invoke that feeling within you. Whether you read, you pray, you listen to music, you speak to someone or you watch movies. All of those things are therapy of sorts. Find meaning in life again. Down days don't define you. We all have them. You're not alone.

x Veevley


  1. Nobody wants down days. So when they come in midst of a motivating and good week, they feel so difficult to get through. Like nothing can get you out of it.

    But luckily we have things like meditating to binging on tv series to help us get through these times.
    Do what you love - is what I repeat to myself. Do what makes me happy.

    Sometimes you could feel so low and not want to do anything but all you have to bare in mind is that - this feeling will pass. It will definitely pass.

    I love this honest post. I see so many blogs about how people are having the best time of their life, but this is so it's refreshing and humbling to see this.

    Kara x

  2. I needed to read this today because I feel like I've had a string of down days. It IS ok to wait it out with whatever needed. Heck, maybe it's our body's way of saying "too much!" and giving us a rest. I don't know. But I do know a rainy day with Neil Gaiman can always make me feel a little better too. :)

    1. Glad I was able to offer some kind of comfort in knowing it's alright and you're not alone. Definitely know the feeling. x