Monday, March 16, 2015

Catch Up - March

Hello little corner of my mind. 

It's been a while and I do apologise. I decided that today's blog post was going to take a little bit more of a personal turn, so bare with me. It may turn into a lengthy one.

This year started out with a bang. Butterflies... Rainbows... and happiness... I had come out of a rough year and was headed for a clean slate surrounded by good people, and a general optimism for life. Which, if you know me, doesn't come naturally. Everything was dandy. Which made me a little bit nervous in the back of my mind and pit of my stomach, because things are always great before you suffer a massive hit in the guts.

Our family went through and is still processing itself through one of the most difficult seasons, I would say to date, that we have ever gone through. It affected each and every one of us in it's own way, ultimately bringing us closer together, but it has been difficult. I won't go into the details, but I was shaken.

If you know me at all, you will generally know that it is quite difficult to rock me, and the sentence "I was shaken" is not one that rolls off of my tongue with ease. I am generally quite a logical person over an emotional one. When events arise, my natural instinct is to think "How do we get through this and neutralise the situation?" before allowing myself to deal with the emotions of the events. I like to get to the root of the issue, get everything under control and process my personal feelings later.

Because of this, when giving advice or wondering what to do in a situation, I usually try to remove my personal emotions or feelings from the subject matter in order to come to a clear decision on how to act and proceed. People often view me as quite a judgmental character because of that. And that is one of the main struggles I have had to deal with over the last month or so.

Could I for a brief moment suggest that maybe it has nothing to do with being judgmental or not? What if this is simply a way to process and handle information through a filter which provides the most efficient way to come to a logical conclusion which will benefit all parties at the end of the day without being overpowered by feelings and allowing them to affect my decisions? What if it's just a different school of thought from yours and a different way to handle stressful situations without burning out?

We all have our different ways of interacting with the world and making sense of the bullshit that surrounds it. It does not make one way better than another, it simply makes us all different. But how do you explain this to a world which seems to be becoming more and more "self-absorbed" every two minutes? There simply is no way. I seem to be meeting more and more people who are so afraid of being "typed" in this world that they seem to feel the need to constantly be pointing out what they believe is "wrong" with other people.

Now... I present you with a pickle... When you call somebody judgmental, or even come to that conclusion in your mind without verbalising it, are you not yourself making a judgment? You don't know that person, you may even think that you do but at the end of the day - if you have not walked a day in their shoes with their hat on, you don't actually know. Mainly because you will have no idea how they think or process, because you will have a completely different way of handling events than they will.

And at the end of the day, how boring would the world be if our brains operated in exactly the same cookie-cutter fashion?

But please. Just stop for a second. And think before you fucking speak.

Thanks for putting up with the Viivi-rant. You may now return to your daily lives which are probably ten times more interesting than the five minutes you just spent reading this ;)

x Veevley

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